What if Pokémon Go were real?

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By Yesenia Coello
Campus News

Pokémon GO is something Millennials have been dreaming of for a long time. And, sure, it may fall short of some of our expectations, but at least we’re finally living out our crazy childhood fantasies. (I used to pretend to be a Pokémon trainer all the time when I was younger, and you probably did too if you were a nerdy kid.)

But what if Pokémon were real? We know from the games that the Pokémon universe is radically different (and probably better) than our own. If these critters did exist in our realm, just how different would life be?

1.    Talking to strangers would be A LOT easier.
This is a blessing for anyone with social anxiety. Literally, you could probably approach just about anyone and challenge them to a battle. Certainly there’s the possibility that the person you’re dealing with isn’t a trainer, but if they are then there’s a good chance that you’ll make a new BFF. In fact, you could probably make a ton of new friends since multiple people will share the same interest. Pokémon would be our current equivalent to Hamilton.

2.    Tinder would be non-existent
You wouldn’t run the risk of potentially embarrassing yourself in front of the whole Internet if Pokémon existed. Instead of using babies and dogs as hook up bait, you could use your supernatural critters to do the work for you. You’ll never be lonely again if you have a Squirtle as your wingman.

3.    You’ll finally have excuses to avoid responsibilities
If there’s one thing that’s fact in the Pokémon world, it’s that Pokémon get hurt. A lot. Sure, you may be concerned for your battling companion after they’ve been KO’d by a powerful opponent, but you’ll come to learn that Pokémon are durable creatures. So, if your Pikachu is having a rough day after a battle, you can call in a sick day at work or avoid school to tend to your little friend. (And just in case, you were wondering, trips to the Poké Center are free and probably covered by insurance.)

4.    You’ll probably go out more
This has been proven true by Pokémon GO. If you’re the kind of person who’s too self-conscious to go to the gym or just finds exercising to be boring, then you’re out of excuses. If you want to be the very best, you bet your butt, you have to walk around if you want to fill your pokédex.

5.    You would never be lonely
Pokémon are essentially cooler version of household pets. Not only could you use them for battle but also as companions. Tired of human interaction? Need to vent but you’re too embarrassed to talk your friends or therapist? Pokémon are perfect for that. Feeling sad and need to some quiet time? A Pokémon can keep you company without judging you. Seriously, who could ask for a better friend?