Back-to-school mom makes good

By Darren Johnson
Campus News

Sometimes necessity is the mother of invention, and a mother of two (with a third on the way) had a decision to make. After her husband was in an accident and unable to work for a while, how would they pay their bills?

“I had to stay home and take care of my husband, and realized quickly that my job wasn’t going to pay our mortgage and two car payments,” said Tanya Deshaw, 38, of Waterford, NY, who last month walked across the stage at commencement ceremonies for Excelsior College of Albany. “So, I said to my husband, after he was able to take care of himself, that I was going to go back to school.”

That decision wasn’t easy. Deshaw had a bad track record. She had dropped out of high school in 10th grade. She eventually got a GED at age 19, but then also had some academic issues at Hudson Valley Community College after a semester. “I was the same kind of student I was in high school; I guess I didn’t want to do it.”

That was nearly 20 years ago. Time went by. Children were born. She did get more credits from HVCC, though, and shored up her academics, and built up her confidence, but her dream of going to a four-year college didn’t crystalize. Deshaw had worked consistently, but they were hourly jobs that didn’t pay a lot, and didn’t give her enough additional income to provide the life for her kids that she had wanted.

“We were struggling to pay the bills, so I had to take a different job, and wasn’t able to go to school; at least not a traditional face-to-face college because I have three kids and was working a weekly swing shift.”

So she applied to Excelsior, an accredited college in Upstate New York known for its online courses and flexible scheduling. She majored in Natural Sciences with a concentration of Biology.

She had been working in a large lab, but for not much more than minimum wage. Through a program at work, she received help with her tuition payments. Upon getting her BS degree this past winter, she was instantly promoted to a white-coat position, making $42 an hour.

“I’m one of the only people in my family to ever go to college. My parents were factory workers and they basically got out of high school and got a job. My mother didn’t talk about college. My dad didn’t talk about it. It’s like you get out of school, get a job, get married, have kids. And that’s it.”
Her advice is to never give up.

“If I could do it with three kids and a husband and a house and working swing shifts, then others can do it, too,” Deshaw said. “And a lot of companies will help you pay for your degree.”

Her husband, mother and children got to see her cross the stage this past July and cheer her on. But she remembers all the work it took. She’d have to bring her textbooks with her to her kids’ sports games. But now the benefits are awesome.

“It’s a major jump in lifestyle and everything. Even with all the roadblocks in your life, it’s worth it. … All my children go to private school now because I can afford it. I’m trying to prepare them for college before they even get out of high school.”

The leap Deshaw took means ending a cycle.

“I don’t blame my mom, but she didn’t have the knowledge or the understanding of what was out there. She was kind of stuck in a little box, and I feel like now that I was able to go to college and meet all of these people – that I stepped out of my comfort zone and sucked in all the information I possibly could – that I can pass it on to my children. I feel like they get to benefit from all the knowledge that I have learned. They can have that and move forward and have a better life. I mean isn’t that what you’re supposed to do, as a parent?”

Deshaw really enjoyed Excelsior’s educational model and is considering now getting a master’s in business administration from the college. This could advance her even further at work, perhaps to senior management someday.

“A million times I felt like I wanted to give up and quit. And I cried. But then what kind of role model would I be for my children? So I pushed myself to continue and graduate.”

Sometimes she can’t believe this really happened. “What I have to do is get myself out of the habit of saying ‘I’m a high school dropout,’ because my husband will correct me. He’ll say, no, you’re not a high school dropout. You’re a college graduate.”