By Cody Fitzgerald
Campus News
The world is changing, and it’s changing fast. With this, new concepts and thoughts come up all the time and unfortunately, the dictionary isn’t able to keep up with it. Today, I’m presenting new words that I believe are relevant and necessary to adopt into the English language.
badfrienditis – forgetting your friend’s birthday, knowing you can go through their Instagram and look at the photo they posted on their birthday last year, check the date it was posted and in turn, know their birthday
auntcarlakindaracist – the stage in puberty where a child realizes a vast majority of their family members are kind of stupid and they’ve been blindly agreeing with bigoted political views for the majority of their childhood
notflix – the phenomenon that occurs when a friend recommends a Netflix show to you over and over and you say you’ll get to it, but you don’t have the heart to tell them you’ll never watch it
bublétism – when a singer reaches a dry point in their career and releases a Christmas album to stay relevant
facebook – a cesspool of misinformation and drama, often coupled with people abusing their kids and playing it off as a joke for advertisement revenue on their “family funtime” videos
riskwar – a company playing on the edge, knowing full well they are acting against basic human decency; close to inciting a war, they are potentially damaging the population, the economy and any concept of morality. often associated with Pringles.
facemask syndrome – when a vast majority of the population chooses to deny facts and spite scientists by claiming their rights are being denied
cody – synonymous with genius, typically associated with a young, hilarious, attractive, healthy male
headachequest – any question that has an answer beyond human comprehension. “How big is the universe?” “Where do we go when we die?” “What is a tampon?”
drifry – fighting the urge to eat fries on the drive home from McDonald’s
Well, there you have it. All of these words are going to make it much easier for us to convey how we feel and what we want to say. If we all pledge to drop one of these words in casual conversation daily, eventually we’ll all be adapted to a new, modern English.
Cody Fitzgerald is a Schuylerville (NY) High School senior aspiring to become a screenwriter and comedian.
Facebook Comments