Cody’s Column: A timely message for future students

By Cody Fitzgerald
Campus News

While spending four years blowing off responsibilities, starting drama, watching your mental health slowly decline, cheating and learning you lack a lot of basic life skills may sound a lot like the Trump presidency, it’s also applicable to a high schooler’s experience.  As I write this article, I’m a little under two weeks from graduating.  In my thirteen years experience with the public school system, I’ve garnered a lot to say.  Today I think it’s important I shift gears from preaching politics to you, and give my final wisdom as a soon-to-depart high school senior, here goes…

• Start Presentations Strong – YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TRY TO GRASP THE ATTENTION OF YOUR AUDIENCE ON YOUR FIRST BULLET POINT BY ANY MEANS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Shop Smart – You will never, ever, need all the school supplies teachers ask for.
• Teachers Are People, Too – I’m happy to say I’ve got several teachers that I consider friends now more than anything.  Remember that they’re people too, and they’re not perfect. There will be days where they make mistakes, and please just remember to go easy on them.  Teaching is one of the most stressful, underpaying jobs in the world and those taking on the challenge are doing it because they genuinely care.
• Uncrustables Supremacy – Need a cheap snack?  Running late for school and needing to grab a lunch quickly?  You just want something convenient and delicious?  Uncrustables!
• Put Yourself Out There – Trying out for a sport or club can be anxiety inducing, but it’s almost always worth it.  You not only get some of the best experiences of your life, but you will absolutely make new friends and create a lot of great memories coupled with whatever you’re gaining out of the extracurricular.

  

• They’re All Racist – Yeah, I know you like that person you learned about in history class. They were actually super racist.
• Don’t Make Grades Everything – I know you want to get into a good college, and tape all your tests on the fridge, and brag to your “smart” friend that you received three points higher than them on a test, but this isn’t everything.  The minute high school becomes a job to you, it’s no longer the place you go to learn, see your friends and have a good time, which is arguably just as important.
• Branch Out Your Education – Unfortunately, the American Education System is not flawless.  It’s in your best interest to learn a little bit outside of school, especially to avoid those “your generation doesn’t know anything” conversations at Thanksgiving.  Cover all your bases – learn about taxes, credit cards, and make sure you can match each Spice Girl’s nickname to her face.
• Freshmen Suck – That transition from middle school royalty to high-pitched memelord shouting about the video game fad of the week or thinking they’re tough enough to play with seniors in gym class (and often resulting in a broken limb) is rough.  It’s important to remember that you were a freshman at one point, too.  Every time you want to slightly lift your knee to kick one of them and knock them out, remember this was you.
• SLEEP – Pulling a 3 a.m. night to finish homework, or text your friends, or watch Netflix, or finish homework and text your friends while you watch Netflix, will catch up to you.
• Feelings Are Valid – Most high schoolers are afraid to drop whatever persona they’ve played themselves up as, and they find it very difficult to open up to their friends or people close to them.  It’s okay to have feelings, no matter how intense they are.  It’s important to always remember that someone is there to listen, whether or not you can see them.
• Procrastination Isn’t Good – I’ll write this one later.
• Don’t Perform – So many teenagers (and adults alike) are obsessed with what everyone sees of their life online.  Not everybody needs to see everything, and you should just enjoy your life rather than obsessing over getting photos of whatever you’re doing and taking yourself out of a good situation just to document it.
• Mitochondria is the Powerhouse of the Cell – In case you’re ever on Jeopardy.
• “I’m a Teenager” Isn’t an Excuse – By high school, you know right from wrong.  Don’t do bad things because you’re “young and free,” because you are still very much responsible for your actions.  Be a nice person, treat everyone equally and, as much as I shouldn’t have to say it, my high school experience told me that most people need to hear this – respect women.
• THEY BAKE THE GRILLED CHEESE – THAT’S WHY IT TASTES SO GOOD.  THEY DO NOT “GRILL” THE GRILLED CHEESE.  THEY BAKE IT.  I CRACKED THE CASE AND YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.
• Enjoy It – I’m sitting here right now trying to remember where the last four years went, and how fast high school flew by.  As much as you might feel like you hate it now, soak in every second.  You are going to school with the people who’ve watched you grow up, or have grown up with you.  These people are going to be some of your best friends for life, and the bonds you’ve made and the love you have are something special, don’t take that for granted.

I’ll see you in the real world.

Cody Fitzgerald is a graduating high school senior satirizing anything and everything he can get his hands on. Aspiring to become “one of the cool” High School English teachers, he hopes to share this outlook/coping mechanism with future generations.