By Cody Fitzgerald
Campus News
Unfortunately, I knew this day would come. Last year, I was able to skate through because of COVID, but now that Fair Season is back in full swing and I am fully anticipating biting the back end of a meat cleaver at the hands of an upset anti-vaxxer type who doesn’t like what I have to say in this column (one of the ones who can read, of course). Jokes, and fears, aside, the fair is back and you get to watch today as I try and fight between my cynicism and noting the aspects of the fair that I genuinely enjoy, hopefully finding a balance between both.
Off the bat, I like to think it strikes apparent that I am not a county fair type of person, but just because I’ve molded into the funky t-shirt, indie pop loving, obnoxious liberal that I am, it doesn’t change the fact that a healthy portion of my youth consisted of fritters, “Sylvia and the Magic Trunk” and dodging cow manure in my back to school sneakers that my mother tried to warn me not to wear. The lifestyle may not match that of my own, and I may have heard racial epithets more than 50 times in my experience, but it’s still (mostly) a great collection of people and businesses that come together once a year to celebrate their culture and each other, and that is almost always a good thing.
Admittedly, I complain here about as much as a recently divorced frequent Target shopper balancing 4 children in their cart, and most of you would probably expect me to riff on the fair, or most of the aspects of it, at least. While I did just prove you right in the first half of this column, I want to switch it up and give you some advice on how to be a decent fairgoer this week and any upcoming fair season:
• Be Patient – It’s likely the fair is going to be packed to the brim with everyone anxious to get out of their house again and do the things they’re used to. We can disagree on the whole unemployment/minimum wage situation all day, but this is no fault of the employees, so be patient.
• Eat – You can’t go wrong with a fritter
• Be Careful – I can’t preach wearing a mask to you anymore but I can highly recommend it. Unfortunately, Delta Plus does not come with ESPN, but it does come with sickness. Be careful.
• Weigh the Wind – In the spirit of protecting the vulnerable’s lungs, watch where you’re blowing your cigarette smoke and have it preferably not go into a child’s face. Better yet, don’t smoke at the fair?
• Remember Your First Job – Don’t be one of “those” throwing a temper tantrum because you don’t like where the parking attendants told you where to go. These are kids looking for money, not your attitude.
There’s probably a little more, but moral of the story here is basic human decency. Follow this and we can all have a decent, fun week together and not get New York state into a second lockdown.
Cody Fitzgerald is attending Siena College and enjoys satirizing anything and everything he can get his hands on. Aspiring to become “one of the cool” High School English teachers, he hopes to share this outlook/coping mechanism with future generations.
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