By Kaylee Johnson
Campus News
There are things I resent myself for not knowing in my early twenties, things that only required listening to those around me, applying common sense to my own life, and loving myself for who I truly was. Knowing these things likely would have saved me months of heartbreak, trauma, and overall hurt to my wellbeing. The problem was, I continually allowed my heart to lead the way, through unknown terrain, storms, and situations that required deep thought instead of impulsivity and feelings. Here is the unofficial list of things every woman under twenty-five should know about themself, others, and the world they are interacting with. It’s not all bad:
You look like you, and pictures are distorted
Being Generation X is not an endless buffet of mindfulness and confidence. So much of our existence is centered around this odd virtual, skewed reality. It is a platform to sugarcoat truths, gain validation, and form superficial bonds of all kinds. Pictures are constantly being taken, everywhere. Stoic, present moments are few and far between, so appreciate them as they come, unplug, and realize that what you are seeing online is staged nonsense. Young people are being photographed now more than ever before, and the normalization of social media culture creates self-confidence issues and body insecurities. You may not look like an airbrushed Vegas poolside model who is advertising for Red Bull, but you do look like you, and that alone is genuine and beautiful.
You are going to have to be the villain in a few stories
For most of my life, I have been a people pleaser. I never wanted to let anyone down, or hurt people close to me. I lost myself in this character trait, as people who were not as softly woven and sensitive preyed on me and took advantage of this kindness. I spent years giving: my money, energy, passions, time, talents, and body to people who never reciprocated and never showed gratitude. It is okay to realize that when some people reminisce, they will think of you and crinkle their nose or clench their fists. In order to live a fruitful life, you will have to make a lot of people boil with rage.
There is no shame in mental healthcare
I used to hang my head low walking into the college counseling office, hoping nobody from my improv or dance troupes would see me, accepting help and bettering myself. The stigma surrounding mental healthcare and medication was one that weighed heavily on me, until I became a teacher. In this field I see students taking accountability for their health every day, asking to talk with me, guidance counselors, and taking the steps they need to achieve their dreams. It inspired me to get into therapy and take control of my own anxiety and depression symptoms, without shame or awkwardness.
Flying solo is okay
Our society is fixated on the idea of partnership, dating, romance, and hook ups. Sometimes the obsessions go so far, that this seems like a mandatory lifestyle – and it feels like time is running out. That is an illusion we have created and all it does is thicken the quicksand pit of anxiety and restlessness. It is okay to spend as much time as you deisre focusing on yourself, your career, education, wellness, and friendships, before investing in someone who compliments your personality. The rush does not exist, and you do not need another person to live a full life and make your mark.
Go to the party
There will come a time in your twenties when the only parties you go to are bachelorette and bridal showers, so enjoy the chaos of basement trash, free for all, missing shoes, and lipstick smeared across your face goodness. Even if you are on the fence about the event, just go. The cringeworthy party stories are more iconic than the notorious and composed one. You learn just as much from the sociology of parties, friendships, and dating in college as you do from your coursework, so go for it. Invest in a lot of Pedialyte and Tylenol PM.
Accept professional constructive criticism
In every field in your twenties, you are going to have to work your way up to the professional ladder and receive a lot of constructive criticism. Instead of taking it personally, make you jaded, and feel bitter toward something you used to feel passionate about, learn from the advice and maintain your flair. Everybody goes through upheavals during the early stages of their careers, but you have to maintain a growth-mindset and persist.
Wear whatever feels right
I spent years dressing for the people I was around. My performing arts days bred sequined jackets, neon makeup, and heels I could not walk in. My early days of student teaching brought out a softer side, floral dresses and Mary Janes. As I got older, I noticed my colleagues dressing in jeans, yoga pants, and sneakers. Why? They are at a point where they feel secure enough to dress for their own comfort, bodies, and abilities. Wear what makes you feel comfortable, and drown out the opinions of those around you.
Kaylee Johnson recently earned her master’s in Educational Psychology from the College of Saint Rose in Albany, NY.
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