By Kaylee Johnson
Campus News
Thanksgiving. Mom is at one end of the table trying to convince your bickering extended relatives, that you only see once every six months to try the pecan pie, and dad is in the living room watching football, trying to tune out the chaos from the kitchen. Aunt Gilda is screaming about how we need to build a wall, and Uncle Arnold is close to jumping over the table to grab the “Make America Great Again” hat off of her balding head. The whole meal entails heated discussions about immigration, feminism, guns, and racism. Worst of all, these relatives you have not seen in months are asking you about your personal life. With sadistic gusto Auntie Loretta says, “Is that a baby bump I see?” They ask about your boyfriend or girlfriend, your relationship with God, and your job status. Inside, you are screaming, and feel your veins rising. Who do they think they are? As your relatives make their rounds to say goodbye, they leave lipstick on your face, and the smell of $20 JCPenney perfume lingers on you for the rest of the night. For the rest of the week, you are socially exhausted, hiding in your childhood bedroom. Then, you see that your relatives have posted pictures of you eating with the caption “Thanksgiving cousin fun!” You try to un-tag yourself before anybody from work can see, but it is too late, your colleagues have already passive aggressively clicked “like.” This is Thanksgiving for most Americans.
It is normal to feel like crying after spending a few hours with extended relatives? Certain aunts and uncles bring out the worst in me, and I find myself reacting to their ludicrous behavior in unpredictable ways. For instance, one uncle, who I have not seen in years tried talking to me at a recent event, and I walked straight into the ladies’ room without looking back. You are not the only one with a dysfunctional family situation, reader. I wish I could say that Thanksgiving will be flawless, and that all of your relatives will be on their best behavior, but I would be lying. The truth is, somebody will drink too much, or make a snotty remark, or not show up – that is how the majority of extended families are. You can only control how you react to the stimuli around you. First and foremost, make sure you are dressed nicely, since at least one of your older aunts will be taking pictures at inappropriate moments, and always be aware of your surroundings.
In regards to heated political debates, stay neutral. Of course you have an opinion, but a Thanksgiving dinner is not a place to share those beliefs, especially when people are so divided on issues today. If another relative starts discussing politics, lightly try to change the topic. Talk about a club you are in, or your favorite class. As dysfunctional as the holiday can be, it is supposed to bring people together, not tear them apart. Eat your turkey, bake your pies, watch the Macy’s Day Parade, and wallow in nostalgia, like a normal family, whatever that is. That’s all for now. May your Thanksgiving be free of stress and embarrassing photos.
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