This is the time of year to go topless

By Darren Johnson
Campus News

OK, the headline for this article may be a bit clickbaity – I meant “topless” as in drive a convertible. (Get your mind out of the gutter!) You know, the kind of car where the roof comes down. I’ve had four of them. And they are the best deal going!

My latest one is a 2000 Chrysler Sebring I bought off of my uncle last year for about the Kelley Blue Book price – the same number as the year, $2000. It was kept in a garage and had less than 80,000 miles and runs great. It has leather everything, and even a cassette deck. This is my first summer with it.

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Driving with the top down is the best of both worlds – it’s the adventure of a motorcycle, but the practicality of a car. I have the whole world opened up to me, like on a bike. I get the sun and the wind, and I smell the fresh air. There’s a certain peacefulness to it. But I also have the advantages of driving in a car. I can keep one hand on the wheel, smoke a big stogie, listen to music (I got one of those cassette adapters I can connect to my phone, la dee da).

All that for only $2000! There are lots of cars in this kind of shape on sites like Craigslist. I don’t know why more people don’t buy them. Stats say only 0.7% of cars sold today are convertibles. Am I the crazy one for liking these?

At Christmastime, with my family and dog, we put down the roof and drove through a huge Christmas lights display in Albany. The park staff cheered us on. Some kid in a $40,000 SUV hanging out of his window complained to his mother, “Awww. Why don’t we have one of those?”
Cold? Just throw on an extra scarf.

In the summer, it can get hot with the sun beating down. The best solution? Drive faster! Get more breeze going.

The car has a strong V-6 engine with a good roar to it and wide tires like a race car. I drive like Smokey and the Bandit sometimes on the country roads near where I live. It’s a blast.

Another perk having a convertible: I can treat it like a pickup truck. Just put the top down and toss a Laz-E-Boy, BBQ, Christmas tree or whatever in the back seat. I do stuff like that all the time.

Now, naysayers complain that up here in the Northeast a convertible is only good for a couple of months. I don’t agree. There are plenty of 50-degree days in the winter. What I do is put down the top, but keep all the windows up and crank the heat.

Then naysayers may complain that the summer is too hot for a convertible. Again, I don’t agree. While I don’t crank the AC with the top down (that would burn it out), if we do get a rare 90-plus-degree day, I can put the top up and use the AC, if I really need to. Otherwise, there’s Gatorade to replace those electrolytes.

I keep the top down when I park – say at the grocery store. Who’s going to steal a $2000 car?

And then when I exit the store with my goods, I can just fling them into the backseat, unencumbered by a roof.

One night, though, after teaching a Freshman Composition course at the local community college, I forgot to batten down the student papers, and a few flew out before I realized what was happening. I gave those students A’s on that assignment – it was my fault, after all. One student was still angry about it, though.

Now, with rain, it’s not as good having a convertible, as visibility is limited, but we do have a boring and practical second car with a regular top for such days.

One convertible I had had a leaky roof, and a puddle would form on the backseat. It would cost more to replace the top than the car was worth, so I didn’t. But my current convertible is holding up fine. No leaks yet.

At night, with a thousand stars in the sky, a slight chill in the air, driving in a convertible is awe-inspiring. Like a scene out of a fantastic movie. That nighttime smell of pine with a hint of wood smoke. I can’t help but look up, and lose my sense of time for a moment. It’s freedom.

Yeah, I don’t know why more people don’t buy these cars…

And that’s the last word…for now!

Darren Johnson has an MFA in Writing and Literature from Southampton College of Long Island University and currently teaches PR courses, when he isn’t running Campus News. Reach him at darren@cccn.us.

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